Sooo...

It's been awhile.

I'm conflicted. With everything.

Here's something I've been watching alot of lately.



If you know me, I'm generally a very mellow person. Peace seeker. A hippie as most would say.

There are to many nights, that seem to be ominous. Threatening. Things are so good, and I feel awkward about that. I keep waiting to see what is about to happen. There is always a calm before a storm. But i guess in some cases not. But i say that, to not jinx myself to bad luck. Like some fool trying to counteract. But i guess just in saying that, I've messed that all up.

Everything seems so pure to me now. So raw. Life has so much to offer. More then love, more then security. What I've learned, so far, in my 23 years, is that love isn't what it seems as it did at 13. Or 23 for that matter. What i feel now, is not how i will feel at 33. That people should be appreciated for what they haven't done, but for heaven sake, for what they have done. No one is perfect. And at some point we all need a little bit of help. Who should be made out to be less of a person for that? I've done my share of leaning, and if you ever need someone to lean on, god damn it, I'm here for you. I see so much beauty in people. In everything we do. Good or bad.

I no longer have time to fight. Or more, I don't have any need for it. Patience is hard to find. I'm glad i have most of it on my side. There is so much more out there for me to explore, and to find out. For once in my life I'm ready for it.

It's extremely hard for me to really put into words how i feel. So over the next few weeks I'm going to try.

So, i guess, love is what you make it. Love isn't something only between a male and female. Or mother and daughter. Or sister and brother.
Love comes in many shapes, and sizes, colors, feelings. The best way to love, is expecting none in return. If your reading this, know i love you in some way or another.

I'm wrapping myself in life. I'm breathing all of it in as i can. I'm happy just to be alive, and watch the sunset, or watch my daughter dance. This earth has so much to offer. Even though it has a lot to be scared of too. Don't be scared. It's okay. We can all get through it together.