Tonight i feel so lonely here.

Am i such a bad person? lately i wonder. Am I to much of a dreamer?

I can fight all night with myself. Who am i? Who are you?

Tonight I just don't know. It's one of those nights that feel awkward, and clumsy. Almost threatening. My skin is crawling and I need out.

Should I be looking for what everyone else is looking for? Should I be going about my business like everyone else does? The more I get to know myself, the more questions I have. The more I question whether I'm a good person or not. Do I have bad morals? I don't think so, but when you see others point of view, you start to wonder about your own.

Am I so wrong to enjoy what I do? Am I a loser? Am I a whore? Is it wrong of me to believe that one day, I will have a husband and a wife? Am I wrong to believe love can be shared between more then two people that way? Am I crazy?

I feel embarrassed of my doings. I feel others will leave me if they think I am strange. I feel incredible judgment towards me from others, even though I don't judge others.

Is that maybe a problem? The fact that I don't judge, so my views of myself and my doings are now distorted in some moral way?

Why is it one simple thing said, that wasn't even directed towards me, has me up questioning all this. Why am i even questioning? And why am i questioning my questioning?

I guess this is why i never let my mind get quiet.

Happy Birthday C. I miss you :D.